Your choice, almost.

What do you value...

The knowledge you have gained or the knowledge you can seek,

the books you have read or those you have yet to read.

The decisions you have made or the decisions you will make,

the things you have said or the things you can say.

Remember, the unknown can be known but never unknown.

Just as what you have read cannot be unread.

Poem about Ideas

This is a poem I wrote about ideas (and how to steal yours)
Highlight the poem for a more indepth 'discussion'.

your ideas, talking to the reader inviting him in, saying you have something to give.
my ideas, perhaps suggesting a possible deal? maybe I have something to give back?
we're ideas, throwing a wild abstract card by saying listen chump, if you're having any hang ups about this possible idea sharing thingy fuggedaboutit, because after all existence, human nature, ownership, everything we are is ultimately just an idea we all share.
so share ideas, the real juice of the poem and the command saying let's all share because what is there to lose?

A typical day using the iPhone.

You get up to the sound of the iAlarm in great time. You look on your iCalendar and see what you got to do today, it's all there. You go downstairs have iBreakfast and instead of catching an iTaxi, you decide to walk, after all, the iSun is out, you have you're iPod with you and you know the way thanks to the iGPS navigational system. On the way to work you see something iMazing; a dogshit shaped like Jesus, so you turn your iPhone into iCamera and take an iPicture, and you upload the picture to your iMates on the iWeb. iBrilliant, you're having a great iDay so far,when suddenly, Holy Moly! What the blazes? Is that an iTerrorist? Yes, yes it is and wait, there's more, you can overhear him iPlotting to blow the iWorld up!! You scramble around, thank iGod you have you're iPhone. You can simply phone the iPolice and have them down in a jiffy to stop iTerrorists and save iWorld.
Desperately sliding your way around the iMenus you accidently click on iVideo and start iRecording instead of making that precious iCall to the iPolice. Panic sets in as the video you just made starts uploading onto iTube and then out of nowhere comes 'bleep bleep bleep'. The dreaded sound. The last drop of the freshly charged iBattery gone. It fades to iBlack. You're stuck. iTerrorists about to blow the iWorld to shit and you don't have an iPhone to tell anyone about it. You scream at the top of you're iVoice 'heeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllpppppppppp', you curse the blasted iPhone and its short iBatterylife, to eternity when iMichael,your iMate casually santers by, finally, someone who might be able to call for iHelp. But shit, he's used all his iBattery clocking up a high score on iMonkeyball. You both scream frantically and then i walk past. Perhaps salvation? it's all in my iHands...................................? No afraid not, because i don't have an iPhone or an iLife and i'm not interested in your iWorld, so quite frankly fellas iDontGiveaShit.
See you in hell.

Outside the box.

When someone says to you 'think outside of the box' they aren't being very specific. What they fail to realise is that there are many boxes beyond the box that we are usually housed within. What they mean is... think outside of the first box, but not anywhere past the third box, OK? Because the third box represents not just questioning simple things, but far deeper and more philosophical questions such as; is evolution evolving? or did the devil invent time back in the day to forsake mankind? And although all of this information is fascinating, it doesn't really translate at 9. 30 in the morning as an idea for Quorn, who's out of the box thinking simply requires a larger share of the meat market. So think outside of the box, but beware, you may find youself permanently stuck outside of box three, or even worse, in box four with Cantona and Archemedies.

Discount-a-culture

Here's a message to young hopefuls, who've just listened to White Rabbit for the hundredth time.

The counter-culture doesn't exist, its a myth created by popular culture to give you would-be-rebellious types the impression that by playing rock and roll or doing banksy-esq graffitti you are actually 'oustiders'. But in reality, you're even worse than the normies because you are the marketing equivalent of gold. You feed the marketers with your "boundary expanding" ideas such as erm... punk? or hip-hop? The truth is pipsqueeks, that if you want to create a movement it has to be so vile and incredibly uncool that the brand manager at Adidas has to practically throw up when he hears it. This is because if not, then the mainstream WILL absorb your little ideas, flatpack them and have them in selfridges/h&m and before long Primark, so every Tom Dick and Harry can grab a slice. Then in a matter of minutes your whole ethos is so incredibly trendy and diluted that the original kernal of truth is lost under a sea of merchandise. So the message is think vile. Think ugly. Think drinking a pint of wales vomit whilst kicking the shit out of you best friends dead relatives gravestone, shouting car insurance quotes and wearing clogs as hats, watch them try and put that on a t-shirt. you baaaaaaad.

Coined.

Last night I think I said the most intelligent thing my little brain could possibly create and now I fear I may have peaked at the tender age of 21. It was...

"life is like getting tickled, it's painful but you have to laugh"

is it just me or is that 100% brilliance

for people under the weather...

I am a member of an elite group who know things you don’t.
Let me enlighten you.

The sun is a living thing akin to a god. Only a few select people know this. The general public cannot be aware of the existence of any God (I.e. the sun), because the fabric of society would be shattered. The sun is sensitive to things that happen on the world and in particular, blasphemy. So when the Sun Newspaper was launched in 1964, the real sun found this to be deep blasphemy and so refused to shine anywhere that newspaper was sold. England was plunged into a deep grey, overcast misery . So to cover this up from the general public, an elite team of scientists where hired to create a false sun. It uses Nuclear Fission technology and sits around 50 000 ft from the earth. This machine however, breaks down very regularly because the technology is not yet fully developed. It is cloudy because every time the sun breaks down, we need to repair it and cannot be seen so we use a process called ‘cloud seeding’ which hides the repair work. Cloud seeding produces artificial clouds and is dispersed discreetly from the thousands of planes which fly around England each day, but obviously has the side effect of rain for the English. I’m sorry, don’t boycott me, boycott the sun.

Blogger number 70 million. Shit.

No-one gives a flying shit about my first post on this blog, you are probably the first person to read it. There are currently around 70 million blogs in existence, luckily most of them are shit. Thats the same number of people in America that own a gun (perhaps I can convince Americans to kill one blogger each). Anyway, what really grates my cheese is trying to come up with a name for a blog? Blogs enslave you with the torturous task of having to give it a name. I haven't even seen it or written in it yet? How could I name it? Thats like an inventor coming up with a name for an invention, before inventing it. And no matter how many times you try and convince yourself it's not important. Deep down, you know having a good blog name is more crucial than mozzarella is to pizza.

Can't it just be BLOG#70,391,184? save all the pain and hassle. No of course not, because you have to distinguish yourself and show off how clever you are. It's a daunting challenge because you're not sure if you can go back and change your name if it turns out to be a gay name. It wouldn't be that bad, but the point is bloggers are annoyingly precocious with there blog names and they've eaten all the good names up and left me with a few cheese and onion sandwich triangles (on brown bread). After considereing 'writing a blog', you register, all excited and ready, and then as if out of nowhere Captain "Name Your Blog" pops up and starts whipping his originality chain. Every name you type theres a 'checking availability' silence and then nnnnnooo that name has already been used with an unspoken "moron". Sometimes there's a suggestion... 'why don't you try putting that name with you're real name on the end?' Fuck off! I'll tell you why, because then it would sound like I've been beaten by Captain 'Give It A Name' which is the nail in my blog coffin. I'm sure when God made the earth, he didn't have the same problem, "oo sorry God, that name is unavailable, there's already an Earth 3 billion light years away but, hey why not try God_earth0bc or Earth_god06?" By the end of the process you're tired, pissed off (only laugh you've had was a delerius laugh when you discovered the blog name 'checking availability.blogspot.com' has already been taken, as well as 'alreadytaken.blogspot.com') and you settle on some uncool bullshit like 'thinkyourselfsilly.blogspot.com' I feel about as big as an ikea pencil.